Letters Never Sent
by Fandomexpress
Summary: Letters written by Nico to Will he never sent.
1. Chapter 1

Letters Never Sent: One

Nico, aged 16

You. You are the reason I'm leaving Camp Half Blood. Will, I'm scared. I'm scared of myself, and how different I've been since I've met you, I'm scared of you and how you change me, and most of all I'm scared of us. The us that's never been, but the us I spend every living moment imagining. Will, I close my eyes, and I see your face. I day dream and suddenly your bright smile is in my head. When I go to sleep, the thing that gives me solace and stops me from nightmares, are reruns of mindless conversations we shared when I was in the infirmary. Your dorky humour, your stupid puns, your extensive knowledge on everything, I remember it all. I remember the walks we took on the beach together with the rest of our friends, and how you and I walked ahead and talked of countless possibilities of the world's future. That night, as we looked on at the stars, I felt so invincible. I felt so safe as you spoke to me and told me random facts about the night sky I loved so much. I stared at you that night, as if fascinated by your words, which I was, but my gaze went deeper. I stared into your eyes that night, and I stared into your soul. And I saw a young boy, with so much beauty inside and out that he never showed to anyone. I saw your vulnerable side as you talked passionately about the stars, and I stared and stared at you till I couldn't stop staring. I stared until I realised I was in love. Will, I am so deeply, truly in love with you. In a crowded room, my eyes don't rest till I've found you. I laugh the loudest when you make a stupid, dorky joke. I'm the one who listens raptly when you speak, because Will, I know every time you speak I see more of your soul. And it kills me. It destroys me because I'm in love with an angel who could never love me back. And when you love someone that doesn't love you back, it's like you're dying everyday.

And so I'm leaving. Maybe one day, I'll get over you. Most probably, I won't.

If I am certain of one thing, it's that I'll never forget you. i'll never forget the way your eyes shone, I'll never forget the galaxies I saw in them. I'll never stop dying every day, and I'll never stop cherishing every death, because I'd die a thousand times every day to remember you.

I love you. Much more than I thought a young teenager was capable of loving.

But I do. And I always will.

Till the end.

-Nico.


	2. Chapter 2

Nico, aged 21

Five years. It's been five long, painful years. When I left camp, when I left my friends, when I left you, I knew I was going for good. However, I had a shred of hope that maybe, _just maybe_ I'd be able to live with abandoning you all, and that with time I'd stop hurting. I was wrong. Jason, Percy, Piper, I miss them all like crazy. Don't even get me started on Hazel, I doubt you'd be able to understand what it would be like to lose two sisters in one lifetime. But Will, my hardest loss hasn't even been her, my own blood. It's been you. I left you, and it was like someone had reached into my body and torn out a big chunk of my heart. Shadow travelling is a matter of seconds. I'd done it countless times in the past, but when I shadow travelled away from Camp Half Blood for the final time, the journey took an eternity. My mind cracked in two, half trying to focus on the destination, and the other half filling my head with memories of you. With your smile, with the sound of your laugh, with the feeling of your body next to mine as we sat together doing simple things like watching the ocean and eating ice creams. It was like I was about to die, and my mind was playing out all the events of my life, but instead of my life events, it replayed all my memories of you. I remembered the first time I saw you, I was a young boy during the Battle of Manhattan with my too-big sword, and you were an angel even back then, busy saving people's lives. I remembered meeting you again, after years, and destroying Camp Jupiter's fleets. I remembered our nights together in the infirmary, when you'd confined me there for three days, and how you'd spend an extra hour with me every night after your shift was over simply to talk to me. I remembered looking into your blue eyes and seeing the world, my world, looking back. I remembered falling in love with you, and so I remembered why I was leaving. Memories of you designed to make me stay, prompted me to leave, and so I continued shadow travelling far, far away from you.

I came to Italy. I got a job at a diner, and after 6 months got another job at a restaurant. This continued, and now I'm sous chef at the most elite restaurant in Venice. Apart from the occasional rich business dealer, only romantic couples dined here. Which I guess is why it broke my heart so much to find you there. I'd ran out into the dining hall on an errand, and almost like nothing had changed in five years, my eyes found you in the crowd without looking. There you were, sitting opposite a handsome, dark haired man, and I caught an expression on your face as you looked at him of pure adoration. And all my emotions from all these years were let loose. I ran to the back exit of the restaurant, and took shelter amongst the garbage bags as I struggled to stay alive. My mind filled with new images of you, oh how you'd changed over the years. You'd lost the scrawny boyish look, and replaced it with lean muscle. Your crown of hair was wild as ever however, and your beautiful eyes still managed to cut my already broken heart into more pieces. It was like I was being suffocated, like someone was smothering me with a pillow, except instead of a pillow it was Will Solace. I shuddered and I shook, I moaned and tears fell down my face, and I rocked myself for hours till I'd calmed down.

As I left the restaurant, feigning sickness to my co-workers, I ran into someone walking down the stairs, and who else should I run into but you? You stare at me, speechless. You stare at every inch of me, and I stare back for so long, until your partner looks uncomfortable, but he's lost to me and lost to you. We have eyes only for each other. A moment passes and then you've lost all sense of rationality and reality, because you stride over to me and kiss me. You pin me against the cold brick wall and you kiss me and I kiss you. And it's a moment of sheer bliss, because there's no one else in the world but you and your fingers pulling my hair back and tying it in knots. Nothing exists but your lips, which trace soft, wet patterns over my neck, my shoulders, my collarbones. Distantly your boyfriend's cursing in Italian words you don't understand, and we hear his footsteps storming off, but we don't care because who was he except an obstacle in between us? The only thing I hear is your voice, your beautiful voice which deepened over the years, and seems capable of only whispering one word, _Nico, Nico, Nico_. And all my fear, and all my doubts, and all my hate is forgotten, because all I can say is _Will, Will, Will._ And each time we say each other's name it's a promise, a promise that I'm yours and you're mine, which is fact, because I'm addicted to you and I will never, ever leave again.

And in that one night, it's all so simple and it's all so perfect, because we're together and I can finally breathe again.

I'll never forget that night. I'll never forget the rough, aggressive kisses and bites we gave each other against the cold walls of the restaurant, because gone were the days when we were hesitant children. I'll never forget us running back to my house, sprinting up the porch stairs and barely closing the door behind us before we ripped our clothes off, because we were running out of time and oh so terrified something would separate us again. I'll never forget the moments afterward, and the way you moaned my name as you came. I'll never forget the adrenaline and I'll never forget the bliss and I'll never forget the memories we made. I want you to know, Will, that the next days were some of the happiest of my life. We became a normal couple, you working at the hospital down the road and me at the restaurant. It was as if all the pain was forgotten because somehow, despite everything, we both know the answers to each other's unasked questions. We fit together like matching puzzle pieces, and our time apart during days were well made up for at night, and I was so much happier than any son of Hades deserved to be.

Life was good.

-Nico


	3. Chapter 3

Nico, aged 24

We've been living together for three years now, and needless to say it's been the best three years of my life. My entire life, I've fled from routine and sameness. No two days had ever been the same and I never had a real home, I mean, I lived in a freaking casino for 70 years! Anyway, the point is that I've always run away. My mother's death was hard enough, but after Bianca's I could never stay in one place two long because I learned there was nothing more painful than lulling yourself into a false sense of security and peace, and then having it taken from you. But you, you're magical. It's been three years and I haven't even thought about leaving once. I'm not _scared_ anymore Will, and I guess that statement must sound so stupid to you, but you have no idea how wonderful it is to not be scared after living in terror your whole life. I owe you the biggest thank you.

I guess that's what prompted me to ask you. I'd planned out everything in advance and you, sweet, oblivious, innocent you, had no idea. It was on the night of your 26th birthday, do you remember? I'd booked out my entire restaurant to celebrate, and it was just the two of us enjoying a fantastic dinner. You must've thought it was normal enough, until we walked back outside, and the entire _Grand Canal_ was filled with images of our friends and family back home, connected though Iris Message. They all screamed "Happy Birthday Will!" as we walked out together, and then laughed as you yelped in surprise. They "awwed" and "oohed" as you kissed me thank you under the stars in front of everyone. And then, they cheered as I got down on one knee and proposed to you, cheering even louder as you cried and nodded, enveloping me in your arms and holding me tight.

A long time later, we pulled apart, no longer boyfriends but fiancés.

-Nico


End file.
